Do you ever …….
Do you ever put a younger part of yourself into the metta practice? I do.
This morning I spent a delicious chunk of my practice bringing a junior high school ‘me’ into the practice. I was a very late developer and as a result I was a runty little fella all through my Blackwood High School years. Resultingly it was, at times, lonely and traumatic.
I recalled one of our year’s sirens very audibly articulating across the class that myself and another late developing lad were ‘like this’ as she ran her hands downwards in two parallel sweeps indicating our stick like, pre-pubescent figures.
And then another time I had the temerity to playfully throw an uneaten sandwich at a boy one or two years below me and he responded by rubbing it into my face in front of a schoolboy pack.
And then I’ve had this theory gestated from tales recounted by my older sister, that my mother grew up in an era and was counselled by her mother to not pick up a baby when it cries ……. Hmmmm did that wound a very, very young part of me? In later years I’ve gathered that in those first weeks, a mother’s unconditional, empathic physical and emotional care are fundamental to our psychological well-being.
Okay, so the point of this little ramble is to share how nurturing I find it, actually how deeply healing and integrating it is to meet these younger parts of myself and those others involved with generous, unconditional love.
As I imaginatively got alongside young Jeremy (as I was then and still am despite having my Buddhist name) I had things to say to him and whilst I saw that there was the opportunity to ‘take these perpetrators on’ so to speak the practice called me to concentrate on being loving to the young Jeremy and wish them well. What an utter waste of time to remain with any sense of grievance …. How much more joy, healing and freedom lies along the road of metta, of unconditional kindness.
Meditation This Week:
Tuesday 6 – 7.30 pm Zoom and Live
Sunday 8 – 9 am Zoom and Live